Every generation has its own definition of good manners. For Baby Boomers, etiquette often means formality, patience, and long-standing traditions. But for Millennials and Gen Z, many of these “polite” habits can feel outdated, unnecessary, or even overwhelming. What one generation sees as respectful, another might see as draining.
Here are seven habits that Boomers still consider polite—but younger generations often find exhausting.
1. Long Phone Calls Instead of Texts
Boomers grew up in an era where a phone call was the ultimate sign of respect. Calling meant you cared enough to take the time.
But younger generations, raised on instant messaging, prefer quick texts that get straight to the point. A “Can you talk?” text feels far more considerate than an unexpected 30-minute call. For many, long phone conversations feel like a chore rather than a courtesy.
2. Writing Lengthy Thank-You Notes
For Boomers, a handwritten thank-you note is the gold standard of gratitude. It’s thoughtful, personal, and polished.
Younger people still value gratitude—but they often see digital thanks (a quick text, voice note, or even a funny meme) as just as meaningful. In a fast-paced world, long handwritten notes can feel more like homework than heartfelt appreciation.
3. Dressing Formally for Every Occasion
Boomers often view dressing up as a sign of respect, whether it’s for work, travel, or even a casual dinner out. A polished look equals good manners.
For younger generations, comfort and authenticity matter more than formality. They see overdressing as unnecessary and even performative. To them, showing up as yourself—comfortably—is more genuine than wearing a stiff outfit just for appearances.
4. Over-Apologizing for Everything
Boomers were taught that politeness often means saying “sorry” even when it’s not necessary—like bumping into someone in the grocery store or taking a moment too long at the ATM.
Younger people value directness and confidence. They see constant apologizing as draining and insincere. Instead, a simple “thanks for waiting” feels warmer and more authentic than endless “sorrys.”
5. Insisting on Face-to-Face Meetings
To many Boomers, meeting in person is the ultimate form of respect. A coffee meeting or handshake feels more meaningful than an email or Zoom call.
But for Millennials and Gen Z, efficiency matters. They often see in-person meetings as unnecessary, especially when an issue could be solved with a quick message or video call. Traveling across town for something that could’ve been an email? That’s not respect—it’s exhaustion.
6. Formal Table Manners at Casual Meals
Boomers often bring traditional table manners to every meal—waiting until everyone is served, keeping elbows off the table, and using formal place settings.
While younger people respect basic manners, they find strict dining etiquette outdated in casual settings. Sharing food, eating on the couch, or snapping a quick photo before digging in feels more natural to them. They prioritize connection and comfort over rigid rules.
7. Small Talk About Weather and Work
Polite small talk is second nature to Boomers. Asking about the weather, work, or family is their way of showing interest.
But younger generations crave deeper conversations. For them, endless small talk feels shallow and exhausting. They’d rather skip the pleasantries and talk about hobbies, passions, or even mental health. To them, genuine curiosity is more polite than rehearsed chatter.
Why These Differences Matter
These habits highlight a bigger truth: what’s considered polite depends on culture, context, and generation. Boomers often associate politeness with effort, formality, and tradition. Younger people, on the other hand, associate it with authenticity, efficiency, and respect for personal boundaries.
Neither side is wrong—it’s simply a shift in social expectations. What matters most is recognizing these differences and meeting each other halfway.
Politeness Is Evolving
Politeness isn’t disappearing—it’s evolving. While Boomers may see certain habits as respectful, younger generations define good manners differently. To them, being polite means being considerate of someone’s time, comfort, and individuality.
The key? Adaptability. If Boomers and younger people can understand and respect each other’s approach to manners, we’ll all communicate better and connect more deeply.